Do I have to make a choice?
Posted: Thursday, November 24, 2011
by Tharuna Devchand
My friend recently posted a piece on being successful in which he concluded that:
"Success = X > Y
Where X is the one thing in which you want to be successful at and Y is the sum of the parts of everything else in your life.
In order to attain a certain amount of success, you need to put in a certain amount of time together with a certain amount of energy."
Which made me consider my own choices and moves to be successful.
Since I was a child, I have always wanted to learn and try everything. I had this yearning for adventure and a life that was equitable to the father's in the film Big Fish. I used to tell people that I wanted to be in advertising so that I could live the cutthroat life and have grey hair by the time that I was 30 but, at the same time, I laughed at the idea that I would probably end up as a road sweeper, because the world needs them too.
I have never been able to choose one thing. There's so much that I want from life and that I want to experience, that the thought of choosing one thing makes me feel somewhat incarcerated... confined to the box. Does this mean that I will never be successful? Or that I am afraid of committing to something and letting it mean everything to me?
I always thought that being a film director was a way of combining all the things that I love: writing, art, dance, film, comedy, reading, music, exploring and being active... It's the link. But I'm moving in the wrong direction (or taking the longest possible route) because of one annoying thing that makes jumping ahead without any education in the field or experience impossible: money!
Then again, there's a difference between being interested in something and being committed to it. Writing for a newspaper makes me tired of words when I have the time to relax. I also want to do so much with that little time that I have inbetween the day job that I end up doing nothing. I simply chill and unravel my day... because I need that too.
Sigh. Why is life so short? Why are the things that we want so hard to achieve?
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Top-level comments on this article: (3 total)I wish I knew. Maybe the focus that's going to forge your success will evolve out of just letting yourself be who you are. Maybe it's enough. I can relate to your dilemma, though.Ta :)
Ive decided not to decide :)
Great line, Tharuna: "Then again, there's a difference between being interested in something and being committed to it." Enjoyed reading your piece-:)
Here's one from this gizzard: Do what you enjoy, and find a way to get paid doing it. After a long time of searching, I'm finally at that point, I think. ~mogama~Thanks Mogama. It's the finding a way to get paid for it that's the hard part. Should have become something I hated so that I could at least finance doing what i love :p
Hi Tharuna.
Making choices is probably one of the hardest things we do and yet we do it all the time day in and day out. It's just that we don't put much emphasis on choosing what to have for breakfast as compared to, say, choosing what profession we would like to be involved in for the rest of our lives.
And even if you do choose a profession and work toward it, there is no guarantee that is what you will end up doing ... or doing for very long. I'm a case in point. I was working toward becoming a pathologist and here I am designing and making jewelry to earn money and writing on the side.
What Mogama said is important. If your job depletes you so that you have no energy to enjoy yourself, then maybe you need to find another job. No matter what, though, sooner or later you are going to have to choose: can you be happy with things as they are right now, right here or are you putting off happiness for some future date when you are doing whatever it is you finally decide you have always wanted to do. I'm putting this badly. I don't always believe in "go with the flow," otherwise, I'd probably never accomplish anything. It's just that always wanting ... something ... breeds dissatisfaction and unhappiness.
I think that you are wise beyond your apparent years and that very soon now you will get it figured out to your satisfaction. I'm done rambling and lecturing now. :)
Hugs,
Diannewow! you design and make jewelry! That's awesome.
"It's just that always wanting ... something ... breeds dissatisfaction and unhappiness." I totally believe this... The problem is that people always want something, they are never satisfied with what they have... their relationship, their job, their life...
Thinking about it now, I think I'm at a better place then I could have ended up, I work as a writer. And a month before I got my job I was contemplating going back to uni to complete my LLB and become a lawyer cos my dream was a hopeless one.
I think Im just at that age where I'm becoming impatient with it taking so long to get where I want to be...
Thanks for the comment:) It was insightful and helpful:)
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